2006

The house is quiet and without children tonight as I wait for 2006. Elizabeth was here for 2 weeks and the other girls were here part of that time. I miss them.
My hope for 2006 is to read and write much more. And eat less. But since it is still 2005, I may have a snack.

Guest Blogger, my granddaughter, Elizabeth

my name is elizabeth
i love pets
i have 3 cats

i love to sew
i love f-ball
i love b-ball

i like my bubbes house
i live in georgtown'ky
i hate siting in a car

i love my sisters
i love school
i like playing out side

Guest Blogger, my granddaughter, Kristin

i am at my grandmothers house
i go to scms
s c cards rock!!
i live in kentucky/
go uk!!
my bestfriend is shalyn
i have 2 sisters
b-ball
7th grade
like 2 read
love to go places hate to be stuck in house
i love christmas
love snow
i love to snowboard is awesome im good @ it.
love to do tricks on the trampoline
love to play on the computer,wat
ch tv,and play videos games.
take pics of friends and cool stuff
i have blonde hair
pet peeves-
*volume on tv or in the car(anywhere) bein on an odd # has to be on an even #!!!
*belt buckles not in the hoops(like missed one or something)
SPORTS-
*b-ball
*f-ball
*soccer
favorite places-
*florida
*mississippi
*kentucky
*philidelphia**

It's just days until Christmas. Needless to say, I'm far from ready. But I'm sure I'll get ready. A lot has happened since my last post here. Leah was here for a week. Nothing escapes her and her vocabulary is mind boggling, as well as her use of language. Olivia was also here a lot of the time. They are so funny and so interesting. Their conversations amaze me.
All of the girls will be here this weekend. I'm anxious to have them all together at the same time.

Thanksgiving

After swearing it wouldn't happen, I gave in for us all to eat Thanksgiving at Mama's house. It is our tradition, since I was a little girl. My mother always cooked, served, cleaned and we left her with all the dirty dishes and left over food. She says she doesn't care, just wants us to be there. We were there most of the day and washed every dish and pan before we left. It was a good day and we made lots of memories.

Elizabeth's 9th Birthday

Elizabeth is 9 years old today. She is having such a good time riding her electric scooter! All of her presents were exciting to her. She is zooming all over the neighborhood with her sparkly pink purse on her shoulder and her digital camera hanging around her neck. Her birthday cake was scrumptious and so was the confetti ice cream. She is a wonderful little girl and we love her very much!

Leah and Grandmom

It wasn't even raining but Leah and Grandmom needed an umbrella while they played together. Leah is the youngest of Grandmom's four great-granddaughters. She is the only one of the girls that calls her Grandmom. Olivia calls her Mamo, Kristin & Elizabeth call her Grandmama.

Kristin

Kristin is our oldest granddaughter. She is 12 years old and in the 7th grade. I was the first person to hold her after she was born. It was love at first sight.
Kristin likes to read and is learning to play the guitar. It's always a joy to have her visit. Sometimes she leaves me notes that I find when she is gone. This always makes me happy. She is a sweet girl. I wish she was here tonight.

Driving the lawn mower

Elizabeth loves to drive. Every time she gets in the car, she wants to hold the steering wheel or turn on the key. She would rather drive a car but the lawn mower will do in a pinch. When she was here last weekend, she drove it all over the yard. Part of the time the wagon was attached and Leah and Olivia were riding in it while Elizabeth was driving.
I'm sure Elizabeth will want to take her driving test on her 16 th birthday, early in the morning.

Easter eggs and biscuits

Friday, November 4, was a warm fall day. The leaves were covering our yard and more were blowing from the trees and the neighbor's yard. Olivia found a package of Easter egg dye and the cups we use to color the eggs. She was so excited so we boiled 10 eggs, let them cool, mixed our colors and we dyed our eggs. Olivia liked pink the best. After the eggs were dry I found a basket just the right size to hold 10 eggs. I went outside and hid the eggs for Olivia to hunt. She had the best time. She wanted to hide the eggs for me to hunt so I shut my eyes. When I opened them she had put all of the eggs in one place. I hunted and hunted and finally she helped me find them. She thought it was great fun.

Leah was here on Saturday and helped me make biscuits. She used my old wooden rolling pin to roll out the dough and she cut the biscuits with a small glass. Then she put each biscuit on the pan and we were ready to put them in the oven. She had us both covered in flour. She worked hard to get the biscuits in a line on the pan. When they were done we ate them with gravy.

No Sleep

No sleep for me. It's after 2am. I have clothes in the washer and dryer, the dishwasher is running and I have been changing sheets. Mama and Sadie are sound asleep. Chloe is awake with me.
Do I let Mama go home. I understand why she wants to go, why she needs to go. But my gut feeling is to keep her here. How pushy do I get with her. What if I'm wrong.
Susan and her crew may come for the weekend, I hope they do, I need to see them all. John Michael and Olivia could be here too. I would like to have everybody together.
I'm so unsettled. Maybe I need to be lost in a book. Maybe I need to sleep.

One O'clock, again

I've passed another midnight and here it is, 1 am. Again. I haven't even made it upstairs yet. The house is quiet except for my computer keys. I wonder how many hours I have spent awake in this house when everone else is sleeping. I could never go to bed early even when I was a little girl. I guess I'm a born night owl. I will want to sleep in the morning. But the house will wake me. Maybe I can sneak in a morning nap.

Arthur Dalton House

One of my favorite places to visit is the Arthur Dalton house. Every time I go, the house seems to have folded in on itself a little more. John Michael and Mama always go. We like to turn off the jeep and just listen to the quiet. I like to imagine the house as it was when the Dalton family lived there. Susannah was Arthur's wife, I can see her on the back porch sitting in a rocking chair, late in the afternoon, after supper is cooked, waiting for Arthur to come in from the barn. The barn has fallen in now. On hot nights they would eat their supper on the porch, where the breeze was the coolest. They would listen to the quiet, the same quiet we so love now.

Saturday morning

A fine Saturday morning. The leaves look good for shooting pictures. The colors are the best I've seen so far.
We are a mained threesome here in this old house. John Wayne's foot, my hip and Mama's left side. But our spirits aren't dampened. The cats have moved inside for sleeping now that the cool weather has arrived. Chloe slept in a chair in the living room but Sadie slept with Mama. A cat lover, she isn't. But Sadie may win her over. She is a most undemanding cat. Just wants to sleep with someone when it is cold. And she seems to have chosen Mama.

No Children

There are no children in the house tonight. I wish they were all here. I'm sweating blood worrying about them. If only I could make them happy all the time. But I know they have to go through the fire for themselves. The house is filled with things that remind me of them, beanie babies, balloons, their clothes, books, drawings and notes from them. I love them all so much.

I'm the only one awake now, Mama has gone to sleep in the book room, John Wayne upstairs. I've moved to the couch instead of my pallet, my hip is suffering from it. I may have trouble sleeping, I don't trust Mama to call me if she gets up. She wants to go home and I don't blame her but I don't think she is ready. She needs to stay through the winter, something tells me this.

Olivia and I ate lunch with Jeanie today. We went to Friday's. Olivia was very good. She ate spaghetti and bread sticks. She told me she really likes to go to Olive Garden.

As I drove to Owensboro this morning, the sun made the leaves vibrant. I didn't shoot any pictures although I had my camera. I knew I couldn't capture the colors so I'll just have to remember. Coming home the clouds had taken over and the leaves had lost some of their luster. Maybe tomorrow the sun will be just right for the trees in our yard to glow.

I'm amazed at how easy it is for me to be a caregiver. I learned from Sue that there is nothing I can't do. I'm really selfish but not so much now as in time past. I regret every minute I didn't spend with my children. I was sleepier then and could lose myself in a book more easily. Other people's children took a lot of my time, I couldn't help but worry about my students. I should have never done anything but be with my children all the time. Now I want to see them everyday. I do talk to them everyday, sometimes several times. They are my lifeblood.

Pain is beginning to take my attention. Should I take more medicine, I have to be awake in the morning. I don't like morning. I wish it started later.

The house is settling for the night. It has to wait for me to settle. Sadie is still outside but Chloe is asleep on the love seat. I like my cats. Maybe reading and sleep for me.

A lot has happened since I made an entry to this blog. The biggest thing to happen is my mother's stroke. The worst of it took place in the car traveling to and from Nashville to take my cousin, Neffra, to the airport. She is staying with us for a while. The best thing would be for her to stay through the winter. I'm sure she will balk at this arrangement. Tomorrow she begins her physical therapy that will strength her left leg and arm. She shouldn't walk by herself but does now and then. She surely doesn't need a fall.
Today I went to her house to get her diary and some other things. Her house felt empty and it was cold. I took her electric blanket off of her bed and the thought came to me that she won't sleep in that bed again. All through the house I had the same feeling, that she won't live there again. She will be 87 on Thanksgiving Day. I guess we will have her birthday and Thanksgiving here this year. The turkey will come from somewhere other than my oven! I have no idea how to do a turkey and figure I'm too old to learn now.
It's an odd thing, having my mother in the house on a long term basis. She is settling herself into our book room. I've been sleeping on a pallet on the floor so I will hear her when she gets up. Even at that she sometimes has to call me more than once. So we are shifting in this old house. It seems to be working. We'll see what happens.

Southern Festival of Books

I'm in Nashville at the Southern Festival of Books.

After 2am

It will soon be 3am. I'm awake with pain in my foot and knee. I don't like pain but it seems to be my almost constant companion. I'm also coughing my head off so I took children's Tylenol cough and cold. It should help me soon. Olivia is asleep in the bed with me. She sleeps so peacefully. I'll probably want to sleep about the time she wakes up. She'll want to sit in my lap and watch Cinderella. Sometimes we both go to sleep when we sit together.
I'm loving SWEETWATER CREEK by Anne Rivers Siddons.
Back to sleep for me, hopefully.

Jerusalem Artichoke

The Jerusalem Artichoke is blooming in my neglected flower and herb bed. Even the weeds haven't killed it. I first saw it blooming along the road to my friend's house. Susan lives on a hill at the end of a road. It's quiet, peaceful, and welcoming. She gave me plants to put in my garden and they have been blooming for me for years. The blooms remind me of her. She is bright and pleasant. When I was teaching, I saw her every day. Now I see her occasionally, but not near enough. I've let the weeds grow between us just like I let the weeds grow all around the plant she gave me. Looking at the blooms today reminded me that all I have to do is step into the weeds and she'll be there. She is a dear friend and brings much joy into my life.

Hair

Kristin, Elizabeth, & Leah have new streaks in their hair. Leah thinks she is as big as her sisters and doesn't want to be left out of anything. They all have so much fun together. Kristin's picture will be in tomorrow's post.

October 1

It's the wee hours of the first day of October. I haven't been asleep yet, but maybe soon. The leaves are falling off of our trees, almost covering the ball court, piling up here and there around the yard. I haven't seen the squirrels lately but it will soon be time to buy them some corn.
I ended September with a visit to Jeanie's house. Now, I often borrow her books. I sunk myself in one of her chairs, drank a real coke with ice, and mostly talked about books. Her book shelves distract me without causing me to lose out on the conversation. I feel much better for having been there.

What I'm Reading:

SWEETWATER CREEK by Anne Rivers Siddons

BLOOD AND BONE REMEMBER - poems by Jane Hicks

The Book of Revelation

Listening to:

Lullabies on AOL Radio

What I'm Writing:

editing my 'dead poems'

Early morning

I did manage to get out of bed at a decent hour to get myself geared up for school. It's nippy enough for long sleeves and Friday is "jeans" day. So it looks to be a good day.
These old windows almost look like they have frost around the edges. Soon they will.
Breakfast will be Special K and coke to wash down my medicine.

School

It seems strange to know I have to get up and go to school tomorrow. It shouldn't since I did it for years. My night wanderings kick in about this time but tonight I am making myself go to bed. I have books and the computer in bed with me so it's not a full resolve to go to sleep. The house is quiet except for the ceiling fan. Later I'll turn on aol radio and it will play all night. The kids at school will be fun tomorrow, they can be very entertaining. Now I must decide what I want to read.

After supper "bye-bye"

The air was much cooler tonight as we took our evening drive around town. Through the hot summer months we rolled down our windows and let the hot air swirl through the car. We hung our hands out the window trying to cool ourselves down a bit. Tonight the air was warm but far from the hot. We kept our windows down to enjoy the breeze. Yards are beginning to be covered in leaves and Halloween decorations. Leah and Olivia will be so excited when they are here and we take them on a "bye-bye".

Dead Bug

This is the bug just before it died.

Bug

Sometime during the night I saw a tiny bug crawling on my laptop screen. He had long legs. a slender body, and held himself up as he flitted around. I swatted at him, injuring one side of his legs but he limped away before I could kill him. I awoke this morning to find his mother on the ceiling. I haven't killed her yet, I want to make sure I get her with the first swat. This may require an assistant while I wait outside the door.

Leah

Leah is sleeping.

Leah & Olivia

Leah and Olivia are visiting us. They are funny, full of joy, and two wonderful little girls. I surprised them with bottles of bubbles today. They were so excited! Most of the bubbles ended up on my clothes, they don't like sticky hands. Leah kept getting bubbles on her mouth so she kept it dry with my shirt. After spilling most of their bubbles they decided to hunt sticks. They chased each other (and I chased them) all over the yard. It wore them out and after a snack they both took a nap.
They say the funniest things. Throughout the day they would play and laugh, then they would fight. Olivia was aggravated at Leah and they were both watching tv. Music can on their program and Leah gotup to dance and jump. After telling her to stop repeatedly I popped her on the leg and set her in the chair. (Not to worry, she didn't cry) Olivia was so mad. She pointed her finger at me and said, "You stop that, Bubbe, hittin' her. You check your e-mail and leave her alone."
They are a joy!!

Friday

Suddenly it is Friday night. It's been whirlwind week. After a trip to the emergency room on Monday, Doris ended up in the hospital on Thursday. Today she had surgery, a port in her chest and surgery to clean up her septic knee. She has had much pain.
Susan, Kristin, Elizabeth, Leah, and Shalyn are here tonight. They are excited about Fordsville Days tomorrow. I'm getting up early to go to the hospital and then to the grocery. John Michael and Olivia will be up tomorrow. Olivia has been excited about the rides. Leah and Olivia will have so much fun. Pictures tomorrow night!!
Kristin and Shalyn are alseep in the book room. Elizabeth has gone to sleep in the toddler bed. Her feet are hanging off the end. She is covered up with a quilt and sleeping away. Susan and Leah are still downstairs. When Leah goes to sleep, Susan will move Elizabeth to another bed and put Leah in the toddler bed. Then Susan will get to sleep in her old bed. Michael had to stay home to work.
I have to make myself go to sleep or I will crash tomorrow about 10am. That's usually my pattern.

Fire

The house at the bottom of our hill burned to the ground earlier tonight. It was the second fire to strike this house. It had been uninhabitable for years. The street is narrow, barely room for two cars to pass. Firetrucks, ambulances, pick-up trucks and people came from every direction. Traffic was stopped or moving at a snail's pace as the emergency vehicles screamed into town. There were 3 or 4 explosions during the fire and flames licked high into the night sky.
When I look out the window, the fire is still burning, now close to the ground. All but a couple of the firetrucks have left. I hope some of the firefighters will be watching the fire most of the night.

Olivia's birthday party

Olivia had fun at her birthday party, most of the time. She was excited to open her presents and liked everything. She got a purple Princess jeep. She stopped in mid-word when she saw it. Olivia is a good driver! She ate her cake and ice cream sitting on the picnic table and wouldn't let us sing to her. We had to slip and make her picture, she would tell us not to do it. But we have lots of cute pictures of her, she will like to look at them on the computer.
Happy Birthday, sweet Olivia.

Olivia

Olivia is 3 years old today. She is having a Princess party in the park. She is a wonderful little girl and we love her very much.

Chloe

Chloe is 14 years old. I rescued her at school and brought her home with me. She's beginning to show her age, stiff joints, walks slowly but can move fast if provoked. She has spent most of the summer outside but I guess she knows that cool weather can't be far away. She is starting to want to stay inside and cuddle. Meow Mix in a pouch is her favorite food. I forgot to get her a new box so she has been fussing at me. Chloe can barely tolerate Sadie, our other cat. Sadie is much younger and quite spry. She pounches poor Chloe and sometimes Chloe gets enough and pounches back. Then Sadie runs. They are both fine cats.

Gulf Coast

These photos were shot in October, 2004. Scott is holding THE COAL TATTOO by Silas House.
I ate my lunch of Key Lime Pie sitting on the wooden step leading to the beach at Pass Christian, MS.

What I'm Reading

JUST READ:

AMONG WORDLESS THINGS
by Ron Houchin

I finished this book of poems on September 5 at 7:32 pm. I keep going back and reading the poems again and again. I haven't been able to let go of them or they won't let go of me. Also it's impossible to decide which poem I like the best, several knocked me off my feet. This a book I will read many times. Ron is a Hindmanite which makes it possible for me to read these poems in his quiet, forceful voice.

READING:

BEFORE YOU KNOW KINDNESS
by Chris Bohjalian

This is Jeanie's book. She probably thinks she will never see it again but I'll finish it soon.

LISTENING:

The Highwaymen - Kris, Willie, Waylon, and John

Pass Christian Books

Amid all the hurricane news I'm grieving most for Pass Christian Books. It was the most wonderful book store. It sat close to the beach in Pass Christian, Mississippi. It's charm was as enticing as the books. I had the best time there, sitting on the floor talking to Scott about our favorite books and authors. He had met Silas House and had read his books. Silas is one of my favorite authors and a dear friend. I went back to the bookstore two days in a row. I came home with wonderful books and a head full of the history and culture of the gulf coast. I hope they rebuild and I'm hoping the books were evacuated. After leaving Pass Christian Books, I bought a slice of Key Lime Pie and a coke to take to eat on the beach. I sat on a wooden step that was mostly covered in sand and ate my pie. I could taste the salt on my lips and the breeze was warm. I'm glad I saw the beach and book store before this storm.
I haven't heard the fate of Spanish Trail Books in Biloxi. But I fear for it.
It's after midnight and here I am, still wide awake, pain in my chest and foot.
24 hours or so have passed.
Tonight my hair is a different color and is shorter. I had lunch with Jeanie, which helps me keep my head above water. Later I went to the movie by myself. I was one of five to see THE CONSTANT GARDENER. I thought it was a fine film, stressful but worth the stress.
Both of my cats are in the house but will soon want to go outside for the night. But that will change when the night air starts to get cooler. Then they want to be in the house, in the bed. They won't want to be disturbed.
My old clock is striking. It's been here for years and now it is running and striking. It is ready for me to wind it and it will keep me company all night.

Birds

In the wee morning hours, listening to AOL radio, I went to sleep to the gentle pattering of rain mingled with night sounds. Late morning I woke to the sounds of BIRDS. Birds chirping and twittering!! It's quiet outside, all the noise is in the computer. I think I'm glad to be awake, the sun is filtering through the eyelet curtains, the fan by the side of my bed is blowing in my face. The eyelet curtains have been here a long time. They hang here is Susan's room, missing her, rememebering her, waiting for her to come for a visit. When she descends on this room for a weekend or a few days she brings good things with her. Michael, Kristin, Elizabeth, and Leah!! Sometimes they all sleep in here but the girls might sleep with me somewhere else in the house. We make our pallets close together so we can talk and giggle. If we aren't careful we might step on each other if we try to walk. Leah usually ends up on my pallet, snuggling. Often Olivia will be here and will also be with me on my pallet. These are the happiest times, all four girls close enough to me that I can hear them breathe while they sleep.

Dusting

I've been dusting. Don't ask me why!! Next week I'm going to dust books. Well, maybe. It is much more fun to read them.

Crazy

Blogging is making me crazy!

Granddaughters

I'm missing my granddaughters, all 4 of them. Kristin, 12, Elizabeth, 8, and Leah, 2, live three hours away. Olivia, almost 3, lives about 45 minutes away. They are all sweet girls and we love them so much. They call me Bubbe, Hebrew for Grandmother. They are all book people. When Kristin and Elizabeth were little we played book store. I have a bowl of shekels that they use to buy and sell their books. They still play bookstore when they are here. I didn't teach them to play library because I think everybody should have their own books. I often find their 'sales slips' in books. Now they read my books, not just buy and sell them. Many of the books belong to them and have been signed for them. Olivia and Leah love books and stories. We read and read. They like to hear WYNKEN, BLYNKEN, & NOD, HIAWATHA, COME OUT AND PLAY LITTLE MOUSE, GOODNIGHT GORILLA, and THAT'S NOT MY DINOSAUR... Sometimes I still read to the older girls, too. I'll be glad when they are all here with us.

School

Today I substituted in a special education classroom. I had a fine time, the kids were great. Also added a couple of words to a poem I'm writing. Those words were just boiling around in my head and wanted to be in that poem. And so they are.

Words

Words keep me breathing. The best ones are between the covers of a book.