Leah's 4th Birthday

Leah celebrated her 4th birthday on April 14. She only requested one present, a snake. So she now has a black and white striped king snake, named Park. When asked why Park, she said, "You know, like parked cars." She also got many other wonderful gifts and she loved every one of them. She would open one and say, "Oh, my goodness!" Her party was such fun. A pet service from Lexington brought animals for all the children to pet. They got to learn about and pet a ferret, a rabbit, a puppy, two turtles, a guinea pig, a parrot and a chinchilla. I made pictures of the children with the animals and then we printed one for them to take home. Everyone had a good time.

Olivia's Junk Store Treasures

Today Olivia and I went to junk stores looking for a small wagon. We didn't find the wagon but Olivia found such wonderful treasures. The castle has furniture but it is missing it's back. She loves it just the same. She looked at every matchbox car before choosing these three. The handkerchiefs were her greatest treasure. I had bought some a few days ago and she had loved them, folding them and putting them in piles. She wanted to buy many more but I talked her into just getting three with the promise that we would go back next week to get some more.

At J J's Flea Market we found a wooden rocking horse. It isn't in the best of shape but for two bucks, it is a find. Olivia said that Leah will like it too and I know she's right.

I Stand Corrected

My mother tells me that the house was built in 1913. Their house had burned in 1911. But that's another story.

John Hale's House

When John Hale built his family's new house in 1911, I doubt he realized that six generations later children of his blood line would be playing in the yard and hunting rocks in the ditch. Today Olivia and I hunted rocks in the branch and ditch. On the bank of the ditch I found a little pile of rocks that Leah had made last summer. Kristin & Elizabeth have played all over the yard and branch. There are toys in the yard & children's books in the house. Passing by, the house looks like children live there. I hope John Hale knows we are all still there, in and out, visiting, picking up rocks, eating, remembering him.
Later in the day, Olivia and I were in the yard at our house. We worked in the flowers and herbs. She put rocks in the wagon. I found two golf balls and told Olivia to close her eyes and I would hide them for her to hunt. She loved it. Last summer when Leah was here we played the same game and she also loved it. They have all kinds of toys but hunting golf balls is far more fun than any of them. I know it's not the game but the attention and the playing together. It takes so little to make a child happy.
I'm anxious to dye and hunt eyes with all the girls this weekend. It will be such a pleasure. I already have the dye. I just need the eggs and the girls.

READING IN MY CHILDREN'S ROOMS

I read in my children's rooms
even though they no longer inhabit
them. Rooms that still contain
books and me.

Listening
I hear the echo of their voices.
"Mom, can you come in here a minute?"

When the lamp is turned
just right, the shadows dance on
the walls, taking the shape of
little children.

I reach out my hands
but grasp only air. My eyes drift
back to the page and I escape
into a world of words
and dreams.

Justus Redfern's Bohemian Home

BACK HOME

We have returned home from Louisville. I loved being in the city, the sounds, the river, the smells, the people, the food, the old buildings. I'm really a Bohemian at heart, I wish I could live in the highest floor above The Spaghetti Factory with my name changed to Justus Redfern.

LOUISVILLE

John Wayne and I are in Louisville. He is here for a waterworks conference. I'm along for the ride. Out our window we can see the Ohio River. Not far up the river is the Falls of the Ohio. I haven't seen the fossil beds. The water is up so no seeing them this trip. Maybe one day soon.

We ate supper with John and Moy at Morton's. The food was wondeful and the company good.

This afternoon we walked down by the river and saw The Belle of Louisville. Several years ago we took the kids for a ride. It was one of the experiences we thought they needed. I wish I had taken them many more places.

Tomorrow Moy and I are going to Whitehall. We will probably hit a bookstore or two. I'm looking forward to a day in the city.

SUSAN CHARRON - GUEST BLOGGER

The following was written by my daughter, Susan.


Window Memories


I start waking the kids up around Ellmitch. And, yes Grandmama, I do know that Ellmitch came from the word Mitchell. One mile or so is usually enough time for them to wake up to walk in the house where they will sleep by the same window I slept by for years. Everyone plops down in the living room to talk, even if we don’t get there until late at night. Eventually, one by one, everyone makes their way to their sleeping spot. Sometimes I get my old room, but more often than not it is the kids. That is fine with me since I am usually in another room alone and get to sleep until my eyes open on their own.

My kids sleep in a bed that is high off the floor and in a room where almost everything remains the same. The bedspread is the same except for the times it is replaced by an old quilt. Old quilts feel better any day of the week though. The carpet is the same and even the wallpaper. Most of the sounds are the same except for the whistling of the flue over the fireplace. A vintage plaque hanging from a little chain bearing the picture of a girl covers the hole and it whistles and flutters when the wind blows. The curtains are the same and they cover the same windows I looked out of for most of my life.

I can’t count the number of times I pulled the curtain back to look out the window. I would imagine the curtain closest to my bedroom door must have a worn place in it where I held the curtain to lift it away from the window so I could see what was outside. Some of my window memories are happy and some are the ones that I want to forget but can’t because they have made me who I am.

Every night I would pull the curtain back before I went to sleep. The unfailing streetlight was always there and I would see the occasional cat walk across the street, probably wanting in to sleep at the feet of someone in our house. I once looked out the window when my sleep was interrupted by a phone call. I watched a car back out of the driveway to speed away to my grandfather who had suffered a heart attack. I had listened to part of the call to tell us he was sick but hung up and only remember pulling the curtain back to watch the car leave. After that I was never able to look out the window to see if Graggy was there to let me practice driving on the roads of our little town.

Over the years, the curtain was held back mostly to watch family members come and go. Grandmama bringing green beans and fried corn from her garden and extended family coming for Christmas and Thanksgiving. I would watch to see if mom was coming because I just liked it better when mom was home. I watched my brother pull in the drive. He was always on time, of course. He was probably never late coming home and he always parked in the same spot. I watched him drive the most awesome car in the driveway. He liked it so much that he wouldn’t let me drive it, even around the block. And I would watch for daddy walking down the street after work. Not many dads walk to and from work but for most of my life daddy was up before the sun, walking up the street in the dark. Not often, but once in a while, I would hear the door close and watch him walk up the street until I lost sight of him behind the leaves of a tree. I mostly just watched for him to come home though. It wasn’t long after he got home that we were all in the house together.

I would pull the curtain back to see if my date was pulling in the driveway. Mostly they were on time but sometimes I would pull that curtain back every thirty seconds until they arrived. For what seemed like forever I would pull the curtain back to see if my ride to school was waiting for me. Sometimes it was the Freer’s car sitting in the drive with all four family members waiting for me to jump in. There were the times I rode with Carrie. I remember seeing her mom pulling in the drive and I hurriedly carried my curling iron with me because I thought it may stay hot long enough for me to finish those last two straight pieces of hair. It didn’t.

Today I look out the same window from behind the same curtain when I sleep there. Only now I notice what my children are doing outside and different people come and go. The curtain stays the same but I look through glass that is broken in one corner and is taped together. Sometimes if the wind blows hard, I can feel a little draft through the window. Maybe those are my window memories blowing in to remind me.

CARDINAL

Friday

Lydia got her stitches taken out today. She was spayed last Friday. She hates traveling, hates her carrier. She cried so much I finally let her out. She had a good time exploring the car, walking in the back window, under the seats, and across my shoulders. Olivia thought it was so funny that she was running all over the car. When we got to the vet's office Lydia was under the seat. I had to coax her out with one of Olivia chicken nuggets. Lydia was a happy kitty to get back home.
The birds were having a feeding frenzy late this afternoon. Sadie would love to catch them. Sometimes she does manage to get one. A cardinal came to sit in the bush by the feeder, he seemed to be waiting for me to leave. I sat very still, the camera on the tripod, the lens zoomed in on him. He never knew he was photographed. I feed the birds all summer, so many varieties and colors.

A Different Trip

Mama and I traveled again today. This was different, Mama didn't really do anything funny. She got tired, much too tired. I kept her out too long. I need to be more careful and take shorter trips. We had a good time, ate Mexican food for lunch, found the things I needed to buy.
I liked seeing the spring flowers beginning to bloom everywhere. They are mostly yellow but the others will soon be on their way. I'm ready to plant flowers and herbs but it is still a bit early. We could still have a cold snap or two. I'll try and be patient.

UPSTAIRS

I sleep around. Around our house, that is. Except for the bathrooms, I've slept in every nook and cranny of this house. I've slept in beds, on pallets, air beds, the floor, the couch, chairs, love seat, stacks of quilts, mattresses, cushions. I have also been awake all night in all these places. Many nights awake, reading, worrying, hurting, thinking, writing, eating, bleeding, coughing, wheezing, holding my breath, pacing, grieving, talking, laughing, crying.
Since we moved a bed downstairs when Mama was here sick, I have slept in her bed most of the time. It is a good place to read, the room is full of books. The heated mattress pad keeps me warm, the fan keeps me cool. I've moved the toddler bed down for Leah or Olivia to use when they are here. I pull it close to my bed and they sleep all night. They both are happy to be with the books too, there are shelves full of children's books. They love to read in the toddler bed while I read in my bed.
John Wayne could always go to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, wanted the room dark and quiet. I am just the opposite. It takes me an eternity to go to sleep, I like music and lighted computer screens. I like to read all night on occasion. So my sleeping around began.
When the children were young I didn't want to be downstairs because I was afraid I wouldn't hear them if they needed me. So I made myself a pallet room in the hall. I had several different kinds of beds there, mattresses, a folding chair, foam. The one consistent thing about my sleeping arrangements in the hall was my feet extending across Susan's door. I didn't plan it that way, it was just the best place for me to sleep. (She might tell it differently.)
I had a nice situation there, a reading light, pencils, paper, books, radio, tape player, phone, a place for my coke and Hershey bar, kleenex, cough medicine, and most importantly, a fan.
There is no telling how many nights I spent in the hall on the floor, how many books I read there, how much worrying I did there.
Some nights I would get in bed with somebody else or they would come and sleep with me for a while. If Susan or John Michael were gone for the night, I might sleep in their bed or sleep with John Wayne if I found myself able to sleep. That was always my best sleep.
Since I've been sleeping downstairs, I've noticed I feel differently about the upstairs. I love being up there but it's almost like I don't live there. The rooms feel strange and mysterious. I know that things have happened to me there but I can't seem to remember what. If I could just think a little more clearly I would know. Yet it doesn't seem to matter. There are old things up there, old beds, old quilts, old books, old clothes, old tables, old pictures, old stories, old ghosts.
I need to be with those old things so I'm going to sleep upstairs tonight. I'll sleep in Susan's bed. The old bed is around 200 years old. I slept in it when I was a little girl. I wrapped my fingers around the spools. I still like to do that. It's such a comfort.
I'm looking forward to reestablishing my relationship with the upstairs. I think it wants me back.

Morning

Early morning into Owensboro to keep Olivia, taking her to day care, then to Friday's to eat with Jeanie. I could have slept all morning but O had other ideas.
It was raing and foggy driving in this morning. I couldn't use my bright lights but couldn't see much with the dim ones either. Actually I didn't see much all the way.
I'm also going to make a Goodwill stop to get some underwear pictures. My battery was down last week so have to go back, they had some good ones.
John Michael is almost finished with school. He has worked hard and it has been a struggle at times but it will all be worth the effort.
I need to sink myself in a novel, just been reading short stories. They are good but I like the long haul. I wish I had a Michener.

DANCING

When Susan was 3 years old, I was driving in Owensboro one day, listening to the radio. I heard an advertisment for Lila Jean School of the Dance. They were having their fall registration that very day. Right that minute I drove to the studio and enrolled Susan. I bought her tights and leotards, tap and ballet shoes. From that day, she had Capizeo dance clothes and shoes. Susan started her classes a couple of weeks and later and from that first class, she could dance. It came natural to her and she loved it. She took a combination class, tap, ballet, tumbling. Her class met once for week for an hour. The year passed quickly and it was time for her first recital. She was in two numbers. The costume for one of her routines was a pink and white bunny outfit, complete with bunny ears. I had no idea how nervous I would be. By the time I got her dressed and left her to go on stage, making my way back to my seat, I was suddenly sick. I rushed to the bathroom and threw up. Then I cried all through her performance, which was flawless. This was to become my dance routine, throwing up and crying with frayed nerves. I don't know why I was so frazzled, she was always on top of the situation and did a great job, whatever dance routine she was performing.
After three years at Lila Jean's, I moved Susan to Joy Johnson's Dance Studio. In no time she was in a performing group, dance classes lasted three and four hours at least one day a week, usually more. We stayed on the road with classes and performances. Not one minute of this time was wasted. I never missed a performance and not many practices.
Susan can always say with meaning that she was a dancer. In her heart, she still is. I guess that makes me a forever stage mom. That's me, still pushing her on, shoveling advice, crying and throwing up. Loving her.

LEAH

Leah was in her first dance recital tonight. She was the cutest dancer on the stage. She had said she wasn't going to do her dance, just going to stand on the stage. But she did her dance and did it very well. Her hair was pulled up in a bun and she had on her make up. She was so sweet. She was proud of herself and couldn't help but grin when we told her how much we liked her dance. She made us all happy.

Stamps

I bought Longfellow stamps today. My earliest memories are of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. My parents read to me from THE SONG OF HIAWATHA almost every night for years. I loved the language of the poem and love it just as much now as I did then. I was entranced with the images of Nokomis teaching Hiawatha and telling him stories. I could hear him talking to his animal friends and learning their secrets. It would be a dull life without Longfellow's poems.

Deed - 1892

Purse, Platter & Hankies

Traveling With Mama

Mama and I went to Hartford today. I had to pick up a deed that I had framed. It has glass on both sides. The deed is an original document from 1892. It records the sale of land to John Hale (my great grandfather) from Daniel and Theodosia Hale (my greatx3 grandparents, and John Hale's parents).
Mama and I had lunch at Little Stevie's Pizza. We ate the buffet, salad bar, pizza, spaghetti, peach and blueberry cobbler. It was actually right good. Next we made the dreaded Walmart trip. Mama didn't buy a thing. I had to have print cartridges and photo paper. Then we went to St. Vincent de Paul so I could make more pictures of underwear. Mama bought a cup for a quarter. I bought some small glasses. Our next stop was the second hand shoe store. I was looking for hiking boots but none to be found. I did buy a really ugly purse. I just love it. Next door to the shoe store is a thrift store where I was able to make a couple more underwear pictures. Up the street we found an antique where I bought some handkerchiefs and a meat platter. All in all it was a fine trip. Except Mama was thirsty the whole time and I kept forgetting to get her anything to drink. I was going to get her a bottle of water at Dundee but she said she would just suffer and drink when she got home. She called later to report that she was no longer thirsty. I told her I was very sorry for keeping her parched all day.

Surrounded

the closet door
stands open
exposing
the remnants
of my daughter's life
shelves and boxes
embracing
the things she left behind
ballet shoes, a doll,
cards and letters,
ribbons,
purple leather coat,
notebooks,
a lingering scent of perfume
waiting for her return
and even for an afternoon
when she is in the house
her things become animated
thriving in her presence,
at night, when she is gone
I take my books to her room
her possessions settle quietly
their hues muted
by shadows
the walls seem to sigh
and I read
surrounded
by her

Peace

The aroma of rising yeast rolls wafts through the rooms of the house that people say looks like a castle. My hand brushes the velvet upholstery on the couch next to the porch that faces the sunset. The house is quiet and has never known haste.
In the kitchen, dust is settling into the kindling box where the wood was stacked earlier. It feels gritty between my teeth.
The dipper hangs beisde the water bucket holding cool water drawn from the cistern in the front yard. My arm feels heavy from cranking the pump handle and I still have leaves in my hair from the low-hanging vines growing through the wire covering the cistern.
The hens are cackling to let us know they are laying fresh eggs for breakfast tomorrow morning. I anticipate putting my hand in the nest to pull out the warm brown eggs. The rooster crows, boasting his superior standing in the chicken yard. I skip across the back field to look down on the cliffs, imaging snakes crawling toward me.
Back in the house, the clock strikes two loud gongs. I nestle myself on the daybed in the side room that looks out over the garden. When the wind is right, I can smell the flowers along the fence. I listen to the bob-white calling from high in the pear tree and I drop off to sleep.
A rustle in the kitchen wakes me, letting me know that Essa is cooking supper. Green beans and potatoes are simmering in the iron pot that sits deep in the eye of the old black cook stove. The corn bread is already in the oven as Essa stirs up a little cake. She keeps the sugar and flour in white metal cans with tight-fitting lids. They sit on the corner shelves beside the door that leads from the kitchen to the dining room. As I wander about the house, I open the closet door behind the claw-footed table that sits in front of the sideboard. My senses are assaulted by the odors of spices and sweets. The closet holds mysterious things and it is too dark for me to enter.
Essa calls me to the kitchen.
Before we eat, we make a trip to the toilet. The grapes droop heavily across the path and we might sample the raspberries if they are ripe.
After our meal, Cova goes about doing the dishes. She heats the water in the white enamel dishpan. The glasses are washed first and they shine as they sit, turned upside down, on a clean white cloth.
At bedtime, I must decide whether to sleep with Essa or Cova. In my mind, I feel my feet slip off the rounded foot board and I float through the air, falling into the feather mattress, engulfing myself in the feathers of Cova's bed. Then I remember nights of climbing the stairs with Essa to sleep in the bed with the spools that fit the shape of my hand. She douses herself with RexRub and we giggle into the night. How can I choose?
Morning comes with the sun filtering through the lace curtains making willowy patches of light on the bed kept warm with quilts made by their mother. Reluctantly, I throw the covers back and hop out of the bed onto the threadbare rug.
Today will be no different from yesterday, yet I'm happy to be in this house with these people who love me without condition. The days blend into one and I feel a peace that I'm too young to know won't last.

Essa

Essa Matthews Sims

March 6, 1873-March 12, 1964

Everybody always said that Essa and I were two peas in pod. She lived in Westview, KY with her sister Cova Smith. Essa's husband, Bro. Sims, also lived there. But Essa and Cova were the heart of the house. For some unknown reason, they liked me a lot. Since before I can remember I stayed with them, sometimes for days at a time. I always felt loved and wanted when I was there and was always sad to leave them. I missed them when I was away from their house and was always anxious to go back. Cova was nice to everybody but Essa was often less than glad to see company coming. If Cova wasn't in the house she would say, "Let's hurry and hide upstairs before they get to the door." So up the stairs we would go where we would stifle our giggles as we listened to the knocking on the door and the hollering, "Miss Essa, Miss Cova." We would peep out the window until we saw our visitors heading back home. Essa and I rarely liked to share our time with others. We just liked each other and Cova. We tolerated Bro. Sims when he came home from preaching revivals. Essa called him "Hon" until she was aggravated with him and then she would yell, "Sims!!"Bro. Sims read and owned many books. Essa and Cova were both readers. Cova had a thirst for knowledge. Essa was the musician. The things I learned from them could fill volumes. Even after all these years I miss them everyday. My mother just said today that she wished we could drop in on them for a little visit. So do I.

Olivia on the playground

Olivia went with me last week when I substituted in first grade. It was warm enough for us to go outside for recess. Olivia had the best time playing with the kids. She has been going with me to the kindergarten classes. She fits right in. Doing crafts is her favorite activity.

Sunday Morning

We had breakfast earlier than usual this morning. The kitty woke me up a little after 7. She needs her toenails clipped. I told he if she didn't watch out I would have her teeth de-sharpened. She doesn't seem to care that my arms are in shreds.

Rainy night, no Cokes

It's rainy like crazy, the wind is blowing, and not a coke in the house. I don't want one enough to get out though. I do have ice cold Evian water which is almost as good. It won't be around midnight though.

Skeletons

I can see the headlines now:

Two Skeletons Found In Car on Nameless Road

Early Sunday morning hunters found a green Mercury that had been reported stolen last year. Inside the car two female skeletons were found in the front seat. Two females had been reported missing one year ago. The bodies have been identified as Fannie Lee and her daughter, Alice, the driver of the car. It was not unusual for these two females to venture on abandoned roads to collect rocks, make pictures of tree roots and view the scenery. They often became lost, actually it was unusual for them to have any clue where they might be headed. Also found in the car were empty chip bags, cheeto bags, coke and water bottles. Hershey bar wrappers and crumbs were present. They were no signs of a struggle. Both skeletons were reclined in their seats as if they were just resting. May they continue to rest in peace.

Baby Joe

Jeanne, Jeane, John, K. Joe, Joe

Uncle Joe

Mama, Joe, Jeane

Visiting

I took my mother to Louisville on Thursday to visit her brother, Joe, and his wife, Jeane. We ate lunch at Cracker Barrell and then visited at their house. It was a good time, we talked and laughed. Mama had a nap. Joe and I had an interesting conversation about photography, negatives, prints, digital cameras. He has many photographs that he wants to have saved to a cd or web album. He has both the negatives and contact prints. It will be great to see them all. Joe is an expert on cameras, as well as many other subjects. I always learn something from him.
My uncle Joe is also very funny. He tells the best stories. He can hold his audience as long as he is willing to talk. We howl with laughter.
But mostly he is quiet. And gentle. It is always a joy to get to be with him. I love him a lot.

Gloaming

The word 'gloaming' appeared in Theodosia's blog tonight and then I read the word in a book I have started reading. How odd the word came to me twice in one night and such an unusual and wonderful word. There has to be a reason for this to happen. Gloaming, just the sound of the word makes me melancholy. I'll hold the word close, I think it wants to be with me.

http://theodosia.squarespace.com/

Gaines Land

I've been thinking about our walk in the woods yesterday. We ventured onto some of the Gaines land, which we now own. I imagine it has been years since anyone with Gaines blood has been on that land. I may be the first in a long, long time. The little area of land we covered is strewn with rotting logs, a thick floor of leaves, mushrooms, sticks, rocks, water trickling along, briars, strange things, wonderful things. I can just imagine what might be there this summer, snakes, bugs, spiders. Interesting things. I like knowing the land is there. Dabney Gaines owned it many years ago, and a lot more land, this is the last of it. We intend to always keep it in the family.

Walking in the Woods

Today we went for a walk in the woods. We started out in an old cemetery. It seems all those buried there died in the same year, 1875. All were named Massie. I wonder if I can find out anything about this.
From the cemetery we walked onto the Gaines land, which we now own. It has been many years since anyone with Gaines blood has been on this land. I hope to spend a lot of time walking these hills and little creeks. Trees have fallen and are rotting, mushrooms are growing on the logs, briars are having their own way and the rocks are timeless. We'll be good to your land, Dabney.

Uncle B

February 8 is the saddest day of the year for me. On this date in 1976 my Uncle B died. His name was Wellington Virgil Matthews, such a strong name. I haven't recovered from his death and don't expect I will. His sudden death left us all stunned. He taught me many things, we shared our thoughts and ideas. He always liked me no matter what I did, supporting my every decision. We shared books, he encouraged me to read, we had long conversations about what we had read.
But the most important thing was that I loved him dearly. I grieve for the loss of him and mourn for the years I have lived without him. Many times I need him and long for his presence. Sometimes I feel his hand on my head or patting my knee. I feel his melancholy and I miss him.

Leah

Leah is here tonight, sick, coughing, congestion. She has gone to sleep and seems to be resting well. I met Susan in Bardstown this morning, after going to Owensboro to take Olivia to day care. Leah is disappointed that Olivia isn't here. Maybe they will get to be together this weekend. Everybody should be here sometime during the weekend.
On the drive from Bardstown, Leah was so excited by the frozen water falls on the rocks along the roadside. She said they were frozen rocks with ice cubes on them.
The deep crevices in the rocks made me think of the depths I have to go to find myself. I keep losing myself. I know I'm somewhere though, deep, mired down, weary.
As soon as we got home Leah wanted to feed the fish, Zelda and F. Scott. They seemed happy to see her. They love anybody that will feed them.

NO SNOW

I was hoping for snow. The news kept promising snow. Just rain. It's not even very cold outside. I loved being snowed in with books, cats and cokes. When my children were little we were so happy to have snow days. Even though we knew we had to make the school days up, it was such fun to be at home in our pajamas. I used to love those early morning snow day calls, no school. Yeah! I'm going to sub in a kindergarten class next week. Olivia is going with me on Tuesday. I wish she would never have to go to school, or Leah. They are so carefree, school will take that away. I'm trying organize autographs and letters, it is a daunting task. I think the easiest way is to just put them in random order. I'd forgotten I had so many. I also have Mama's collection which is much larger than mine. This may keep me busy for a long time.

Powder

Mama now has her powder. I finally remembered. I even remembered to take it to her when I got home from Owensboro.

Coty Powder

Today I took Mama to Owensboro to get her box of Coty powder. We left as soon as she got finished at the beauty shop. Since we had to get groceries we saved Walmart for last. We keep reminding each other to not forget the powder. We decide to eat lunch at Lic's. Mama has chicken salad and I had a gourmet sub with no corned beef. For dessert we shared a dish of choco cremes. I ate more than Mama. From Lic's we set out for the Dollar Tree, where we spent a week. Both of us found all kinds of interesting things. Mama bought 30 items and I bought 20. Mama said she was Christmas shopping. Next we go to the mall. Mama was looking for Cuddl Duds, which we find at Penny's. She wants to buy me pajamas but I can't find any that will fit both my top and bottom at the same time. Mama waits in the car for me while I go to Hobby Lobby (which I hate). I can't find what I want but find other things that I think I need, which I don't. Then to Walmart. I need apples but don't like the ones at Walmart so go across the street to Foodland and buy ones just like the ones at Walmart. Neither had honey crisp apples, which are my favorite. We decide to eat supper at Waffle House, where we remember we have forgotten the powder. We are both too weary to go back so it is my job to get it tomorrow. Could we have a show of hands of those we think I will remember!

FAMOUS BISTRO

I loved Famous Bistro so much that I just had to share it with Jeanie. As I hoped, she loved it too. Our food was delicious, she had a grilled cheese, the bread was so wonderful, the butter rich and the cheese thick. She ate this with a cup of black eyed pea soup. I ate potato salad and broccoli salad. Endless iced tea washed it all down. Even though we were full, we just had to have the creme brulee. It was to die for. Lunch with Jeanie is always the best part of my week, my time to relax and slow down. Book talk is such a necessary part of my life. My goal for 2007 is to read much much more than last year. Too many things had my attention and my reading suffered. After eating lunch I went to the Museum of Fine Art to see the Anthony Quinn's Eye exhibit. I didn't know he had 3,000 pieces in his collection. The exhibit had 100 (some were originals of his own work) of them along with information about the pieces. I loved the quiet in the museum, and loved the exhibit. I should do many more quiet things. And eat at Famous Bristo every chance I get. I'm sure Jeanie will join me.

OUR TRIP TO OWENSBORO

Mama and I went to Owensboro today. Lunch, the most important thing, was first on our agenda. We talked about eating at Lic's since Mama had been talking about their chicken salad. I like one of their sandwiches but can never remember which one. Ruby Tuesday was an option since we had to go to the mall. Before Christmas I saw a place on 2nd Street that I hadn't seen before and it looked interesting so we ate there. It turned out to be FAMOUS BISTRO. I'm not good at parallel parking so I barely got the car off the street. We chose a table away from the door, a table with photographs under glass. The photographs were current and some faces were familiar. As I started to look around the room I realized the walls were covered with art and old photographs. Some of the photographs were framed individually but many were matted in groups, some seemed connected, some not. The owner, George, wasn't there but we discovered the photographs are of his family, mostly taken in Greece. Mama wasn't able to see them very well but I took some of them off the wall so she could try and get a look at them. Two of the photographs were of an old man, one shot was of him looking in a store window, the other was a full face shot as he walks away from the window. I can't get the picture out of my mind. Above that frame was a photograph of five women. All had their heads covered in scarfs, two had canes. They are all smiling. The largest frame holds several small photographs, the most intriguing is of a woman sitting beside a table with her hand holding her chin, she is in shadows, a lighted lamp on the table is a direct contrast to the face in the near dark. Fascinating. We had wonderful food, salami grinders, potato salad made with new red potatoes, broccoli salad that was to die for. Plenty of iced tea. It was all so good. Then on to the mall. Our first stop was Sears. Mama isn't crazy about being pushed in a wheel chair so we parked at the Sears end. She had a gift certificate and was looking for a rug to put in the front of her kitchen sink. She wanted to buy me everything we looked at. She decided on two rugs, one for the kitchen and one to go beside her bed. Next we looked for a pair of gray pants, which we couldn't find. All the time, she is wanting to buy me things. We are happy to find the battery she needs for her phone that is for the hearing impaired (she can't hear it ring). Just as we get to checkout she remembers she left her gift certificate at home. She buys the rugs and is happy. We head back to the car and go park at Penny's, again to look for gray pants, which we find, but do they fit, NO! So she says she will buy Coty powder, and will buy me some too. No, I say, I don't use it. I tell her I don't think Penny's has cosmetics, she says of course they do. They don't. Well, they used to, she says. And hand lotion too. Back to the car we go. Next to Staples, which we forget until we are far down the street, back we go for her journal. I forgot to get it for her for Christmas so now she has it. She has kept her journal in the same type of book for many years. Now to Walmart. I have to make a return. She needs a watch band, which we find and the kind jewelry lady puts it on for her, we forget the powder (I just now remember), she gets her glasses fixed in the optical shop, then on to the grocery where she finds everything she wants. To the car and home. All day she has worried that she is in my way, I'm bothering her, she wants to buy me things, she should be dead, she knows I'm about dead, are my ribs hurting (yes, they are, but I don't tell her), can she cook my supper, am I weak (no, I'm not), do I need some crackers (no, still full from lunch), do I have to do anything tomorrow (probably), and so on. She doesn't realize that I'm glad to do these things for her. She taught me this behavior although she was always much better at it than me. It was a good day, a happy day. We ended our trip with her hanging her cane in the strap of my purse which hampered her efforts to get out of the car.

After Christmas

Now that it is after Christmas I have time to reflect on it all. I was so tired and had so much pain that I hardly knew what I was doing. I didn't even cook enough to feed everybody. I loved having them all here but I fear I didn't take very care of them. Even now, I haven't completely recovered. Boxes of decorations and wrapping paper are still not in the attic. But the boxes are packed and just need to be labeled and taped. After they're in the attic I'm sure I'll find things I've missed and will have to start a new box. It was worth it all, the girls had a good time and loved all their presents.