Mama has had a terrible day, the worst. She finally relaxed enough to go to sleep around 9 pm. She has felt bad all day, confused, talking constantly, wanting to go home, wanting to call her mother. This is the saddest of all, wanting to call her mother and being upset because I won't let her. She cried for a long time. I just told her we would keep trying but that didn't make it any better. I just couldn't tell her she was dead.
Her body is more rigid than usual, she can't bend her body into a normal sitting position, which makes it difficult for her to sit in a chair. We have a lift chair that reclines almost flat so that is helpful.
To make matters worse, I let her fall out of the bed at 3 this morning. I couldn't get her up to the potty chair so pushed her back on the bed, with her head at the foot. I ran upstairs to get Hubby and when I got to the top of the stairs I heard Mama hit the floor. I didn't put up the rail. I don't know how I could have done such a thing. She bloodied her nose and now is sore all over. At 6 am she had another nose bleed and also was congested and spit up a lot of blood. I had to call my aunt to come help me. Hubby is usually away on Thursday but came home tonight. I am very glad he is here. I couldn't have made it without him here.
Mama sees the doctor tomorrow. The nurse said I should take her to the hospital but I didn't. But if Dr. Cole says she should go I will abide by his recommendation. He hasn't been wrong yet.
So now the house is quiet except for the washer, dryer, dishwasher and the computer keys.
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